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Are you in an abusive relationship?

Are you in an abusive relationship? Do you suspect that, secretly, your man simply hates women? Firstly if you are in fear of your marriage then please seek professional help. Talk to your doctor or social services, phone the Samaritans if you need help urgently. If you need to get yourself safe, please do what you can. If you have children and you need help then contact social services as a matter of urgency. Organisations that can help and support you are:

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

http://www.splitz.org/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

http://www.domesticviolenceandabuseservice.org.uk/

http://www.womensaid.org.uk

Also please see my blog on Domestic Violence and Abuse.

How can you tell if your man is a misogynist?

Many relationships can go through ups and downs, difficulties and issues. But deep down you love each other, can discuss things together rationally and conflicts and disagreements resolved with relative ease. Well perhaps that’s the ideal. In some relationships, it may be that one of the partners sometimes ends up with questions – something that didn’t feel “quite right”, they find themselves apologising more and making adjustments to ensure that the peace is kept.

They may find that if there is an issue that they need to resolve, or iron out – when they do confront the other party, they then find themselves apologising for what they have done wrong yet can’t for the life of them worked out what they did wrong. Or they find excuses for their partner “they are going through a rough patch”, “he / she lost his / her job”, “his father never gave him what he really wanted” etc. At the end of the day, relationships are about sharing, equal balance and resolving issues as they crop up. Neither party should feel “put down” by the other.

But ideal worlds aside, relationships can go through highs and lows, pits and troughs – if the general balance is there and transparent, you will know. If it isn’t, you may not be able to put your finger on it – with reasons why something happened, extensive explanations about what went on and when and how, but the nub of the issue is that you don’t feel “right” inside.

It is true that there are controlling people out there – abusive – men / woman haters. How can you tell the difference? And how also do you know that it is the other party and not yourself? It is also easy to blame another person for what is going wrong. Read “the blame game” and see if you can identify with this kind of situation.

Then read this article which addresses issues of misogynistic behaviour in men and how it can affect you. Read everything with a filter. Think about yourself, think about the other person and then see if you can clarify what you may be going through. Is it the other person, or is it you? Is this a relationship you want to be in forever?

Please note – this article is not endorsed by Kate but perhaps interesting. Abusive relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Men or women can be abusive – the main difference being that where men are abusive, more women die.

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Published inRelationships